Posted in Writing

TIME TO REPEL ALL BOARDERS

Yes, it’s that time of year again. The nights are drawing in, it’s getting cooler, and a certain species is on the prowl for a mate. Am I talking about foxes? Badgers? Owls? Think smaller with multiple legs. Yes, it’s time for the annual spider invasion.

Nothing is worse than being curled up on the couch reading or watching your favourite TV programme and then out of the corner of your eye you catch movement… and freeze. I think I have yet to find a woman who can tolerate arachnids, in fact some are absolutely terrified of them. Cat ownership taught me to cope with mice but spiders? That’s a whole different thing. My problem with them is that they have far too many legs which means they are adept at changing direction at speed so just when you think that pint glass you have pulled from the cupboard is about to trap them, they dodge away. They also have the disconcerting habit of leaping in the air, which can guarantee you will leap as well, hopefully in the other direction!

Last year, after reading about the fact our eight legged friends weren’t keen on horse chestnuts, we began collecting and leaving them around the house in places where our spiders are usually seen. There are two local trees a few hundred yards away from the house, so a plentiful supply. We have an under croft which runs below the lounge and dining room. I have never gone down there, nor do I intend to, as it is a well known habitat for multiple types and sizes of spider and also a perfect place for them to gain access to the house. On occasions, when work has been undertaken, holes have been drilled in the floor. These, however small, present little trouble to a determined spider in search of romance. I cannot say hand on heart that these chestnuts give us full protection, although we have seen a definite reduction. And for the spiders that do manage to get through, we have invested in the ultimate humane deterrent, pictured below. Much as I detest these eight legged intruders, there is no way I would kill one unnecessarily. Purchased from Amazon, this nifty little contraption means we can deal with them safely. So far we have ejected several quickly and painlessly out of the bathroom window or front door where hopefully they will find better luck tracking down the girl of their dreams.

Author:

Directs fictional destinies. Living on the edge of a wonderful Georgian city. Addicted to Arthurian legend, good wine, and rock music. Writes...mostly about love

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